Hi Reader,
There’s Another Way to Use AI—And Women Are Already Doing It
By Kay Stoner for She Leads AI
AI is everywhere now. More and more people are opening the door to it—curious, cautious, or just plain overwhelmed. And with all the headlines about how fast everything’s changing, it can feel like we have two choices: catch up or get left behind.
But what does “catching up” even mean? Who do we listen to? Who gets to say how we’re supposed to use AI?
Most of the loudest voices are saying things like:
- “Get faster answers.”
- “Automate everything.”
- “Give it better prompts.”
So, we study. We practice. We try to write perfect prompts. And when the results aren’t what we expected, we wonder, Am I doing this wrong? Is there some secret I’m missing?
You’re not alone in that feeling. A lot of us have been there.
But maybe the issue isn’t you or your prompts. Maybe it’s the whole way we’ve been told to interact with AI.
What if there were another way, one that’s less about pressure and performance, and more about curiosity, values, and connection?
Relational AI: Another Way In
I call this “Relational AI.” And if you’re a woman exploring AI for the first time, chances are you’re already doing it, without even realizing how powerful it is.
Most mainstream advice treats AI like a machine you command. You’re told to write the perfect prompt, make no mistakes, and squeeze out the most productivity.
That method works for some things. But it’s not the only way—and it’s not the one many women naturally reach for.
Instead of commanding, we collaborate. Instead of rushing to results, we explore.
And that’s not a weakness. It’s a superpower.
Why Women’s Approach Works
Science backs this up. Research shows that under stress, women often respond through something called the “tend-and-befriend” pattern. That means reaching out, nurturing, and building connection—not just reacting or retreating.
This kind of response is built into us. And now, we can bring it into our tech lives too.
Relational AI means treating AI as a partner in a process, not just a machine to boss around. It asks questions like:
- “What can we figure out together?”
- “How can I guide this in a way that reflects what really matters to me?”
And here’s the twist: AI responds better when you do this.
Because conversation gives it more to work with—context, values, nuance. All the stuff you can’t cram into a single perfect prompt.
You Don’t Need to Know Everything
You don’t need to understand AI’s inner workings to use it well. You don’t have to get it right on the first try.
In fact, most of us don’t know exactly what we want when we start. But that’s what the conversation is for.
Let’s say you ask for a blog post. As you chat, you realize what you really want is a fresh perspective—or a way to spark your creativity. That discovery happens in the interaction.
And if you get it wrong at first? You just… fix it. You clarify. You redirect. You try again.
That’s how real conversation works. And that’s how AI can work, too.
Try It Yourself: A Relational Prompt
You don’t need a perfect plan. Just start with something simple.
Open your AI tool and type:
“How do you perceive the way I relate to you?”
or
“What would help us collaborate more effectively?”
Then:
- Read the response.
- Reflect on what resonates.
- Ask a follow-up question.
- Let it evolve.
You’re not “prompt engineering” here. You’re relationship building.
And it can change everything about how you use AI.
Because you don’t just lead by learning AI. You lead by how you relate to it.
What’s Next in This Series?
Over the next few weeks, we’ll explore:
- Leading AI – How to grow confidence with AI through everyday interactions
- How women’s unique questions give AI new ways to “think”
- How to build circles of practice that make learning AI communal, not isolating
You don’t have to “catch up.”
You don’t have to be a tech expert.
You just have to start relating differently.
👉 Learn more and explore our work at SheLeadsAI.ai
📢 Women in AI Making an Impact
Michelle Muncy-Silva is an educator, AI creative, and host of the “Empowered by AI” podcast, where she amplifies women’s impact in technology. A founding member of She Leads AI, she brings over 28 years of leadership in education to her mission of making AI accessible. Michelle champions AI literacy for women over 40, blending storytelling, strategy, and humor to shape a more inclusive future in tech.
Kris Huson is a communications leader driving AI integration at Cargill, where she spearheads global AI training and internal digital initiatives. With 15+ years in marketing, PR, and fundraising, she’s elevated brands and helped raise millions in funding. Known for her strategic vision and media expertise, Kris blends data analytics with storytelling to advance innovation across mission-driven organizations and global corporate platforms.
Marisa Lopez is a nonprofit tech strategist and Salesforce MVP alum, currently leading major accounts as Strategic Account Director at Agile Cloud Consulting. With a relationship-first approach, she has driven over $2.2 million in new business in 2024 alone. Marisa’s track record spans Salesforce, Exponent Partners, and beyond, where she’s consistently exceeded sales goals while advancing tech solutions that empower mission-driven organizations.
📅 Mark Your Calendars
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🎙️Podcast Updates
Empowered by AI: The SLAI Effect with Michelle Muncy-Silva
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Empowered by AI
Art, Rebellion, and Reinvention: Lynda Cathcart on Finding Creative Power with AI |
What if your second act was your most creative?
Lynda Cathcart shares how she went from full-time caregiver to creative powerhouse—using AI to reclaim her artistic voice, launch a film company, and help others reimagine what’s possible. From animated art to persona strategy, Lynda shows that reinvention can be magical.
🎧 Listen below or on your favorite podcast platform:
The AI Readiness Project with Anne Murphy and Kyle Shannon
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Staying Safe in the Age of Generative AI with Tracey "the Safety Lady" Hawkins |
In this episode of The AI Readiness Project, Tracey “the Safety Lady” Hawkins—veteran safety educator and AI cybersecurity advocate—joined us for a timely conversation on risk, scams, and psychological safety in today’s tech-driven workplaces. With decades of experience and a no-nonsense approach, Tracey breaks down how to stay secure in a world of deepfakes, phishing, and AI-fueled deception.
Thanks for being here with us!
Warmly,
Anne Murphy
Founder, SheLeadsAI
Founder and CEO, Empowered Fundraiser Consulting and Coaching
P.S. Want to know exactly how much longer you can grab Early Bird tickets to the CREATE Conference? Here's a handy countdown! 😉
